We welcome *Guest Writer* Discordia Toxteth to WelcomeToTheDarkAges.com as he shares his account of Toxteth Day Of The Dead 2018.
As a native of the city of Liverpool, Discordia Toxteth takes us on a journey from the build up to the event, to the activities of the day and provides a rather unique and alternative account…
Huge thanks and respect to Discordia Toxteth.
Well, as I opted in for the report of TDOTD – artistic licence. Here is an attempt to put some words around the experience of the event. 23.11.2018.
Born in Liverpool and not as mobile as I once was, so not really one for a long wonder around the sites of Toxteth, although as explained later “The Pete Burns Roundabout” our paths intersected like lay lines – just in different time zones.
* 23 days before
We decode the videos and proceed to be brain washed and then start to hand brain wash as many people we can get to them to go to TDOTD. Without actually saying “What the fuuk is going on?”
The blipverts at the end of the video showed a shopping trolley or living in L8.
Plan A: We all move into a bell tent on a mate’s front garden of an old big house in Toxteth and then change FaceLife place of residence to Toxteth.
A few days later we go spotting for dumped trolleys in El Porto. We find at least three dumped, MUMU website is updated stating FULL sized ones only. That evening with paint masks on with black stripes painted on them (to look like badgers) we then proceed to grab the dumped trolleys. In a moment that was more like the Chuckle Brothers, we attempt to rescue the trolley and get it in the car. Funny thing is, a FULL sized trolley doesn’t fit in one STANDARD car.
Cuky thinks… Ammo walks away. Regroup , mission on. Post to Facelife a request for anyone with a van to help collect dumped trolleys. Seeing an option for more brain washing (by hand), I post the locations of the trolleys as public on Facelife. A fellow Facelife person posted, offers to pick them up as they have a van and are going past “El Porto” to get to TDOTD. (Fotos to come 4 art).
Meanwhile… further chatting discovers that a friend’s mother tried to get a supermarket to pick up the abandoned trolleys and they weren’t interested. It took a large number of calls before they decided to collect them (fact).
Meanwhile… plans are made, in roads are made into this Dystopian sitcom called TDOTD. What the fuck is going on with the400 and Badger Kull? What will they do this year? Just what the fuuk will be going on @ TDOTD? One thing for sure, we are going to L8 and making ourselves at home.
* 23 hours before
Talk of raiding supermarkets dressed as badgers, melt in a haze of a new e-cig vape this takes up and away somewhere. After some wrangling with the boss man, time off to attend the event is given and we are set to jump both feet into whatever will be happeninng on 23112018@TDOTD.
Early starts are dashed by the time lords and some of the followers have issues with mornings.
Facelife questions start to take hold, what the fuuk is going on? Has the brain washing worked enough to spark an interest? Will we get through the day without visiting Hotel POPO on the Mersey?
* 2.3 hours before
Research is made, Liverpool Council have been busy and have made sure no sh*t going down at IWF dock from L8.
Roads blocked with much more than 23 traffic cones. More like 23 streets closed with only one road open.
* 23 mins before
Not knowing what to expect we head for L8, park up outside a mate’s house , put up the Bell Tent and text him to say “We have moved into your front garden, don’t panic. When you get home from work, you’re coming with us.”
Brain washing now at later stages we follow the call to find trolleys. Arrived at Town hall, phone going off left / right and centre with questions about “What the fuuk is going on?” from followers we started to brain wash.
We call in to a local pub and start to chat with the senior locals. After a few gins we agree to meet one local at the town hall in 30 mins, with the promise of more gin, once her mission was completed.
* 23 secs before
Task on, find trolleys! We are informed that local PO and FRESCOS (S)Staff have been alerted, they are following anyone who takes a trolley from the bays. Stickers for TDOTD are seen attached to some trolleys, we see this as a sign from on high and grab the sticker emblazoned trolleys. We go to pick up some PUNK beers just to add to the flavour of things. Promptly find that we are being followed around by the in house SS with radios (shortened as above). So in a Jason Bourne style moment, we split up all going to different parts of the store. One of the followers goes to the toilets and changes clothes. Prize in hand we contemplate the route out of the store. I set out first down the travelator. I glance behind me and see that security staff are following me close, they think they can taste another victim and can’t thank TDOTD for making their jobs more interesting for the day. He is now that close I smell his cheap aftershave “BRUT33” a popular brand if you like working for FRESCOS and are over 40. It’s probably on offer, it’s black Friday.
My phone goes and one of the followers informs me we have a tail and to drop the trolley. I just say ‘I know, I see him he is wearing “BRUT33″‘ and hang up. We then decided to have a rather bizarre game of “cat and mouse” with the security for a bit, we smiled and did not remove a trolley from their premises. FUN was had and Discordia achieved with no harm to others. We decided to regroup at the bell tent.
A few cups of tea and e-cig vapes later, we decide to go scouting for trolleys in local area, CHAOS is kind to us and we find three trolleys. Totally brain washed by this point a follower maps a safe route on his phone avoiding the PO and FRESCOS(SS) who are both out in numbers. We navigate the Pete Burns Roundabout and slowly ascend towards the GOAL.
Arriving at the town hall with trolleys in hand, we are greeted by the interesting sights within. Most notable, BD is making mince pies and cups of tea are being served around him. My first chat with BD ends up being about mince pies. Rock and roll.
Was a total mission, a barrel of fun, meeting the free entry restrictions. a little bit of Discordia in Toxteth. Why not it’s Black Friday?
23 seconds after
Meanwhile… we got the local old lady to purchase a brick for us @99p and went back to the local pub with her and provided the gin payment.
23 mins after
L8 pubs V DPL). Comms let us down, to be fair, did us a favour. We had a fuukin ball with the locals, we love the old people of Toxteth. You can take the lad out of the pool, but u can’t take the pool out of the lad. L8 <3 thanks for being so nice to us. Sitting in a locals pub in L8 post Town hall visit, plans are made and broken as we start to enjoy the local Toxteth pub. Plans are ditched as we start to chat to the locals about the MUMU bricks and TDOTD. Providing the ads to them.
We start the hand brainwash process once more. Over 80 live, in Toxteth – 99p offer. A few rather lovely old ladies were brain washed into wanting a MUMU brick. Not a single drop of gin was wasted. As a bit of art that would cost her 99p and be worth at least £99.00 on the art market. Would the JAMMS notice if we got the same old lady to buy the bricks next year? Plans are made to brain wash the over 80’s of Toxteth into buying the MUMU bricks at 99p.
DISCORDIA takes over, PHONES die, comms go down. Plans are dropped due to lovely inner city pub people of L8. We stay in the locals bar and drink local beers with local people. L8 Liverpool people like to chat. 🙂 What the fuuk is goin on in Toxteth? A damn good pub night that’s what. They will speak of us for 23 years or more. We wonder back to the bell tent an e vape blitz.
I wake and find I am using the mumu brick as a pillow.
All photos courtesy of Discordia Toxteth.