Vision 2040: Excerpt by Pries Verhon

Pries Verhon shares an excerpt with us from his recent book: ‘Vision 2040’. The play is inspired by ‘Welcome To The Dark Ages’, the fanzine ‘Between The Click And The Bang’ and Andy Gell’s books ‘Whatever’ and ‘Together’.

You can purchase ‘Vision 2040’ via Amazaba.


Vision 2040: Excerpt by Pries Verhon
 

GAIL: I was just thinking. It was like you were going on telling someone reading a play about events from 2018 until now. Kind of like breaking

The fourth wall in the kitchen breaks. RYAN REYNOLDS enters, dressed as Deadpool.

GILES: WHAT. THE. FUUK

RYAN REYNOLDS: Hi everyone! My name is RYAN REYNOLDS and you, good sir are the happy winner of being an extra in DEADPOOL 4 – The deadest pool!

With him are 4 women dressed in bikinis that look like Ryans outfit. Just much more revealing.

GAIL: Oh this is so nice dear!

GILES: YOU REALLY THINK IT IS NICE THAT OUR FUUKING KITCHEN IS WRECKED?

GAIL: I didn´t tell you. I wanted it to be a surprise. I entered you in a contest to be an extra in Deadpool. I know you love Deadpool.

GILES: I FUUKING HATE DEADPOOL! I LOVE SPIDERMAN! TOTALLY DIFFERENT THING!

GAIL: But they look the same. And Ryan Reynolds did play Unce Ben in the remake of Spiderman that got made in 2019.

GILES: I KNOW. THEY HAVE DONE 23 FUUKING REMAKES OF SPIDERMAN SINCE 2018!. I LOVE SPIDERMAN BUT I HAVE HAD IT WITH SEEING UNCLE BEN GETTING KILLED AGAIN AND AGAIN!

GAIL: Well you still won.

GILES: BUT I HATE DEADPOOL! WHY DID YOU ENTER MY NAME?

GAIL: Women weren´t allowed to enter as they are filming in England.

GILES: WHAT?

GAIL: Come on. Just before Prince Charles died he managed to decide on one thing. With the queens blessing of course. All contests can only be entered by men since Prince Charles never could be king. It is only fair.

GILES (not as angry): Yes… Yes… Oh thanks dear. I know you meant well. Now get back into the kitchen.

GAIL: We are in the kitchen. And it is wrecked by Ryan Reynolds.

RYAN REYNOLDS: I know I wrecked it but look! The front door is being wrecked too!

GILES: WHAT?

RYAN REYNOLDS: Pries Verhon entered a contest for you to get a visit from Kool-Aid man. And he is coming riiiight now.

Suddenly the front door breaks. BECCI JAMES enters dressed as KOOL-AID MAN. She has painted the costume yellow and blue.

BECCI JAMES: OH YEAH!

GILES: I feel like killing myself.

BECCI JAMES: BUT YOU ARE ALREADY DEAD! OH YEAH!

GILES: Give it a rest

RYAN REYNOLDS: But there is more! You will be an extra in the same scene as Stan Lee!

GILES: Stan Lee died November 23, 2020.

RYAN REYNOLDS: I know! Are you daft? Of course they filmed a shitload of scenes with him before he died for upcoming films. Like with Karloff. Like Lee. Like Lugosi.

GILES: Karloff?

RYAN REYNOLDS: Karloff. Yup. Before he died Karloff was in four Mexican low-budget films.

GILES: Karloff went to Mexico?

RYAN REYNOLDS: Nope. They filmed him on a soundstage and added the rest in Mexico.

GILES: Well thanks for telling me all this. My kitchen is wrecked, the front door too and Pries Verhon has not moved on with his life. I have no idea what is going on.

RYAN REYNOLDS: But you will be an extra with Stan Lee.

GILES: I guess.

RYAN REYNOLDS: Well enough of breaking fourth walls. See you tomorrow.

GILES: Tomorrow?

RYAN REYNOLDS: Day two of a three day event. Tomorrow is the Day of the Book and the movie.

GILES: The book? The movie?

RYAN REYNOLDS: The shooting of DEADPOOL 4 starts tomorrow, outside of the Floor.

GILES: Ok…

RYAN REYNOLDS: Also, the book might be published.

GILES: What book?

RYAN REYNOLDS: Here.

RYAN hands GILES a small pamphlet. It is black and yellow. It states:

“Welcome to the Bang Ages”

RYAN REYNOLDS: It tells you what will happen. But today is the day of the hearing.

GILES: Hearing?

BECCI JAMES (still in the kool-aid man outfit): Yes. But really Ryan this is just daft.

RYAN REYNOLDS: What is?

BECCI JAMES: The girls in the bikinis.

RYAN REYNOLDS: what about them?

BECCI JAMES: Why are they in bikini while you are fully dressed?

RYAN REYNOLDS: Since we need to get people to see the movie. And see the play.

BECCI JAMES: But is it needed?

RYAN REYNOLDS: Not really. But your cleavage is not needed either.

BECCI JAMES: I don´t have any cleavage in this. It is glass and yellow and blue. And almost impossible to walk around in. Would have preferred a bikini or cleavage.

RYAN REYNOLDS: But you had cleavage in 2017.

BECCI JAMES: And you were married to Scarlett. Move on much?

RYAN REYNOLDS: Duly noted.

 

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